e x p l o r e

what to call it, besides the obvious

To say that we were young, dumb, and unpreparedIs to wave away a cobwebOnce an intricate tangle of emotion, religion, attachment,now a dusty remnant in…

ONE

(one in movement) (one at rest)

Unsolicited

You sliced through my skin and injected your venom into the red waters of my body. Like roots thirsting it was sucked up hungrily transported,…

legacy

Is greatness carved from the desire for greatness? Contained within some weighty block, neither eager nor patient, obstinately set. Is it cobbled and collaged, years…

dissociation

Consciousness peeling away from my body like sunburned skin;Like dried glue and fidgety fingers, nervous from thoughts of what is to comeThe crash of glasses…

reminders

sidewalk chalk, smudgeda van like hisThe trees with severed limbs still sending sapto parts no longer there.The sweetness clumps at the edges,it can’t turn back.…

an unplanned saturday

Today contains a yearning and no balm to soothe it The harsh light on this walk makes me feel lumpy;the twice-stubbed toe, fumbling. A tree…

Parch: Futures & Friends

“But all adults hate their jobs right?  Even if they do something they used to love, once they have to do it every day in…

To Wander

To write straightforwardly,comprehensibly,is to know what it is you want to sayand that you want to say it. We walk the circuitous path when we…

A Song

That song you said you hatedI’m listening to it on repeat. When you told me your opinion I stayedwhat I thought to be suspiciouslysilent If…

A Knock

Last night I was home, alone,And there was a knocking at the door. I went to open it But no, I was mistaken, it was…

reflection // dual dupability

It’s fascinating to watch someone lie to themselvesand, by extension, to you. You want to be mad To shake them, to wake themTo hold a…

reunion

I got back from my high school reunion a few hours ago and I can’t sleep. I have four hours of conversation and interactions replaying…

on a train

I feel trapped and surrounded yet disconnected and aimless. Like I’m on a railroad going nowhere, alone in a train car full of people. Backpacks…

I am not eating my feelings

I am not eating my feelings My feelings taste like salty ocean water in my lungs like pine sol like biting full force and without…

A Day In June

The sunshine is a bully You’re wasting your life, it whispers, draped over my windowsill. The anxiety that has settled, resting in a puddle below…

Xan: Death of an Author

A sharp crack. A slow drip drip        drip. “I never imagined this would be so damn difficult.” The ink pooled on the…

flowers & fuel

“I live when I’m happy and I write when I’m not.” I don’t know how to write about happy things, fun things, soft things.I’ve never…

Notes On Wanting

1 I had wanted it to be you, you know.But of course, you probably don’t know. can’t know. and if you do know,Pretend you don’t.Because…

push / pull (a performance)

I am mad, partially, that you are rightThat you saw meAnd what’s worse, without my consent. But I am also madSimplybecause you are an asshole…

three dozen eggs

She grabs her purse and rummages through it, checking for the essentials: phone, wallet, keys, mask, hand sanitizer.  Two large eyes stare up at her,…

sand

four minutes have passed by numbly staring at the bathroom ceiling the water of the tub lukewarm four months have passed by blindly eyes fixed…

balloons

Things were straightforward. The homeless guy is hungry, Give him food. There is trash beside the road, Pick it up. Someone feels left out, Invite…

your silence

Some people are staying silent out of grief, out of a need for time and space to process their emotions. Some people are staying silent…

mourning

Yesterday I googled ‘my heart hurts’ And the only results were medical but That’s not the pain I was referring to I’m not exactly sure…

margaritas

I was going through my phone notes and found this entitled “Tipsy Rambling 04.10.20”: There are things that I make that have a lot of…

A Mile in Their Hair

I had a conversation recently about the widespread frustration regarding the closure of the hair salons due to the pandemic.  I carelessly rattled on about…

m y s e l f

I am feeling anxious, uncomfortable, unsettled, off.  And I can’t put my finger on why, or even really how. It’s like something has changed, shifted.…

Breakdowns

I don’t know where they come from.  I haven’t figured out what triggers them.  Maybe it’s hormones.  Maybe it’s the weather.  Maybe it’s the food…

Internet Famous

If I make some silly rhymes If I post at different times If I add a trending tag Will I have it in the bag?…

visceral

years ago a Stranger dug a pit in the soft earth of my mind and it was in that excavation where the branches of events…

Had Enough?

What’s one more poem one more pot One more I with one more dot One more drawing one more book One more thing at which…

. . . t i m e . . .

Time is minutes, seconds, hours, days. Time is duration. Time is movement, time is change. Time is the beating of my heart, the pulsing of…

The Freedom of a Wasp

I think we have a wasp nest near our apartment. Every once in a while some lone wasp makes its way into our home and…

What is an HSP?

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, PhD Book Review Brief Description of HSP: Highly Sensitive…

Self-talk

How do you talk to your inner child? Do you treat him/her like you would treat someone you love? What lies do you tell yourself?

You should’ve asked

I would like to share this with the entire world. Especially with all the exhausted wives and mothers out there.

Earth-Friendly Habits

Today I want to share a list of small changes we can all make in our daily lives to better love this planet that we…

this > that > the other thing

One of the things that most frustrates me about myself, and humanity at large, is our seemingly constant and often rash judgements (of situations, people,…

A List of Lists

I have a friend who jokingly tells me that I should be a professional list-maker… Well, world, here’s my debut: Table of Contents (a.k.a. Meta…

Lingering

Like mascara trails down her cheek, exhaustion in muscles weak. The tender ache of a bruise, the baby weight you can’t lose. Trembling after his…

That’s not a good reason!

This is just a rambling exploration of some topics that have been on my mind. I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic…

Kicking Butt & Taking Names

Hey everyone!! So after that previous post containing some unfortunate news about not getting the Penland scholarship, now it’s time for a FUN POST filled…

No Hope, No Disappointment

It’s easier to just share the highlight reel, easier to only show the happy, exciting moments.  Just like it’s easier to be cynical, easier to…

I care…

A constant question in my life is: how open should I be?  I have no problem sharing things about my life; I’d rather be fully…

Imagine

Imagine you’re up on stage, about to give a speech.  You are at a conference and have been asked to share something deeply personal about…

GOALS: update

WOW it has been a busy couple of weeks!  Who knew that chasing my dreams and accomplishing goals would so all-consuming.  But it has been…

GOAL: author//illustrator

Hey friends, As it has been miserably cold here in Blacksburg since the new year started I have unfortunately made no progress yet on my…

GOAL: walk all the streets

I am tired of seeing the same route every time I go for a walk.  I am tired of the extra pounds I have put…

n!ghtmare

A project that I have been working on here and there for a while.  (one spread is still in the works and not shown here.)…

It was just an adjective.

Simple sounds muffled amongst the layers of meaning that wrap overlap and veil Meant to convey they confuse refusing to be as simple as they…

the (edited) world we live in

A while ago I bought this book from a thrift store for two dollars. It looked promising, but I had no idea how much fun…

. . .

findings

Lilly, I am sorry you have to see a surgeon but I hope your appointment goes well… Ontario, Canada.  They have interesting postal codes… RE…

And sometimes I bake.

Last weekend my family came in town for a football game and my sister spent a couple extra days with me.  One rainy day we…

the damage of one dandelion

He was everything that has roots in the cracks of my skin that are sidewalk scars – the bleeding wrinkles of time in my soul…

recent work // collage update

quantum mutatus ab illo 6.5 x 10.5 // analog collage // magazine + dictionary + thread   JUMP. 6 x 9 // analog collage //…

Below the Line

There’s a sickness in my soul It’s filled with self-creating holes The blood both paint and soap washing painting losing hope Entropic forces rip apart…

Inktober (2017)

October 10, 2017 Inktober was initially started by Jake Parker, an illustrator who wanted to become more consistent with his drawing habits. Now it is…

bueller, bueller

I am not entirely sure where, when, or why Autumn’s hard hat was in need of a name tag, or why the name tag still…

FOUND: letter

One of the many reasons I loved used books (and library books) is that you never know what you will find tucked away in the…

Referential Existence

Words are so remarkably frustrating. They never fully encapsulate what I am trying to convey… the swirl of thoughts and logical strands, the elegant images…

Systems Thinking // effects of effects

The innumerous nodes of the system shift infinitely, are shifting. In spite of their untangleable entanglement we, perhaps unconsciously, persevere in our belief, our obsession…

He said; He said.

The water of brain in the pool of her skull and the endless reverberations of ripples Ad infinitum Of a voice she never actually heard…

Side Effects

The Cure for Curiosity of the whys of the world is the disease of distraction bound by the blindfold of busyness; and The Cure for…

/cr\ack/s

(undated journal entry from some time between August and October 2016) The water of the shower drenches her in sudden insight. The realization of the…

The Stranger

*knock knock knock* I wonder who that could be… I’m not expecting anybody… Gosh, I hope it isn’t my landlord to show the place, everything…

On Using & Being Used

The feeling of being taken advantage of is one of my biggest triggers Feeling used and naïve Whether it is by a friend, a company,…

[the start of] a scroll

Someone whose work I admire was rather obsessed with a concept similar to this.  While I didn’t really understand it at the time… as it…

The Walrus in the Room

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things: Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax– Of cabbages–and kings–” Of who will win tomorrow’s vote…

Inescapable

Stop. Please stop. Their gunshots like the drops on her forehead, Cold and penetrating. She shut her eyes and her mind between each: bracing herself…

Beneath the Insomnia

She paints the same canvasAgain and AgainIn her dreamswhile they sleepand it sleeps.Because otherwisethey never stay stilllong enoughto dryHer teardrops of paintThat leave trailsof subtle…

[((shellter))]

The small finger traces the maze of mortar, sliding through streets that run between buildings of brick in a vertical cityand that finger doesn’t know…

In Response

It upsets me that I end up crying in church all the time. It upsets me that Christianity feels so arrogant. And that it condemns…

Lessons Learned

+ the skin on my neck is not suitable to be used as a handhold for a baby learning to stand, nor as a teething…

Unfinished

Her signature unknowingly picked up the gauntlet that he unknowingly dropped. And this unknown challenge was both imaginary and impossible: there were no rules and…

The Accident

A white car in fog heading towards her driving home his points and ideas with no lights on so nobody sees him coming. But they…

Now – (Decade/2) = Then

So it is the start of another semester here in Blacksburg.  Today Virginia Tech classes began for Fall of 2016.  A new class of freshmen…

Reviewing Recent Reads

(…because all adore alliteration…right?) I love reading.  I can never remember a time in my life when that wasn’t true.  I love words and stories…

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