january 2015

less the meaning i am gleaning
worthless things. brings
misery.
see?
no. you don’t. you can’t. you won’t.
not your fault, dear light and salt.
you try to understand
the land
in which i live. give
advice,
once or twice. nice. but ice
-y is my head, my heart.
can you restart
the beat?
my feet
are lost without a guide.
they hide.
they run.
but not for fun.
for fear. oh, dear. tears.
they flow again.
my pen.
my paint.
my brush.
h u s h

RUSH!
no time is mine.
be fine.
put on the mask. next task. next task.
FAST! again! again! do more!
“you’re
falling behind.”
not enough. be tough.
time to compare. stare
at my flaws. claws
tear me apart.
this world is cruel. rules:
tools for fools
what do they matter?
climb the ladder.
reaching where?
up there! up there!
they point at wealth, success, at fame. my name
in lights. might…
do what?
cut
my wrists? twist
my mind?
to think things are fine?
and meaningful? lull
me to sleep. keep
the peace. pieces
of me. bur
ied.
dead.