Old Journal Page (with additions)

you know when you find something you wrote a long time ago and it still resonates with you?  and helps you to remember that there is indeed a connection between the person you were then and then one you are now?

you know when you drive to and from somewhere in total silence, even though your whole family is in the car?

you know when you just can’t think of the right words to describe how you’re feeling?  and you are aching to share with someone who will understand…and you feel a pressure coming from inside that threatens to explode…but there just isn’t anything you can do about it?

you know when someone corrects you and then you just don’t feel like talking anymore?

you know when your eyes are tired and your brain is cloudy and all you want to do is sleep but you can’t because you have too much to do? or when you desperately want to sleep but instead are plagued with insomnia and you find yourself staring into the blackness listening to the person next you breathe, wishing you could rest that easily at the end of the day?

you know that feeling when you’re about to cry and your eyes kind of sting and your throat gets a strange tightness?  when you realize that you are experiencing a feeling you’ve read about so many times but never really paid attention to until just this moment?  when another person puts words to the exact sensation you are feeling?

you know when you read a book that defines your life and it makes you feel more lonely and less lonely at the same time?

you know that breath that calms you, keeping you from making an enormous mistake?

you know in that moment of shock and panic where you can suddenly feel the adrenaline in your veins and your heart sucks into itself, tightening, and then EXPLODES and you are sure that if you had been looking at your chest it would have been visible from the exterior and that if your heart hadn’t been connected to your insides by all those veins it definitely would have jumped right out of your throat and landed on the floor with a splat?

you know when you start to think in questions or with a certain degree of repetition and then cannot stop no matter how hard you try which furthers your conviction that you have an addictive personality?

you know that moment of perfection when you are laying in the grass on a hillside with a breeze around you and kids laughing in the distance and watching the clouds pass above and the leaves lazily drift from the trees and time stands still and you wish you could bottle that feeling and keep it forever?

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Old Journal Page (with additions)

2 thoughts on “Old Journal Page (with additions)

  1. jules says:

    you know when you find something you wrote a long time ago and it still resonates with you? and helps you to remember that there is indeed a connection between the person you were then and then one you are now?

    yes.

    you know when you just can’t think of the right words to describe how you’re feeling? and you are aching to share with someone who will understand…and you feel a pressure coming from inside that threatens to explode…but there just isn’t anything you can do about it?

    yes.

    so many yesses. (is that a word?)

    some of my own musing:

    you know when you think youre ok and then a thought flits through your head that makes your eyes sting and you realize you were not as fine as you thought you were?

    you know how people say its ok to not be ok, but then it still feels not ok to not be ok?

    you know when you say something and feel misunderstood and try to clarify and it doesnt help and makes everything feel worse? You know that feeling when you say something important and are understood and it feels gratifying to the soul?

    you know when someone remembers something you said, or remembers a story you told, or a feeling you had, and even if it is small, it feels like being known?

    you know when youre alone and sometimes you ache for company? you know when youre alone and you feel so full and centered and content?

    you know when you listen to a song and reminds you of a time period so specific that if you close your eyes you can almost see it, you can almost feel it?

    (i will never be as deep as you but I wanted to participate)

    Like

    1. m says:

      you know when your best friend replies to a post on your blog and you almost die of excitement? :)

      you know when someone thinks they aren’t enough, that they aren’t good at something, that they aren’t the way they “should” be and you just want to hold them by the shoulders and look them in the eye and speak directly to their soul, convincing them with words unspoken that they, indeed, are enough, and in fact, they are perfect?

      Like

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