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Month: January 2016
branching
the thin tendril drawn to the weak spot
like water filling a crack
the chink in the armor
the body invaded
slowly filling
wrapping its fingers of vine
through his muscles
around his bones
filling the joints
the tendril and vein become one
a coursing darkness throughout
cut short
the pen it disappeared and my ears they took its place
writing in the holes left void behind my face
fully saturated by the notes of conversation
the lyrics of the day watered growing admiration
the sand count is forgotten when the word flow recommences
and soon all ground is covered regardless of the fences
as audience i thought that my presence was desired
but the bill was paid in full so performance was required
the writing now has ended but the garden flowers on
my eyes water the seeds because the gardener is gone
but
i know i need to breathe
or i will suffocate
but i am trapped underwater.
i know i need to eat
or i will starve
but i cannot swallow.
i know i need shelter
or i will freeze to death
but my legs are paralyzed.
i know i need community
or i will implode
i will wither
i will fall into a darkness
that consumes my every waking moment
trapping me within myself
with only my thoughts
and my emotions
and me.
the past 6 months
study: what is a book?
study: what is reading?
study: what is reading?
re-textt mee
*previous post, edited and rethought, thanks to a friend*
reorganized and rearranged according to shifting hierarchies
[the relation among [frames] is integral]
to the relations of what are text and paratext.
those relations are and can be of authority and priority.
traditionally considered the ultimate focus
For scholarly work, In a digital environment,
loosened from their condition of fixity from page 157 of [her] inquiry
e-xtreme test
From page 157 of Graphesis: For scholarly work, the ultimate focus of my inquiry, the relation among frames is integral to the relations of what are traditionally considered text and paratext. In a digital environment, those relations are loosened from their condition of fixity and can be reorganized and rearranged according to shifting hierarchies of authority and priority.
{cloudheaded}
in the sky i have found ground. some call it cloud. loud noises are muffled up here, near to the stars. far, far from the sound pounding on the drums of their ears. fears causing tears. drip drop pop bang shots are fired. all so tired. wired. constantly plugged in. wearing thin. begin and end. begin and end. rinse and repeat. beat so loud no one can think. ink on skin just to remember. remember what?shut your mind don’t rewind. remind me of why i’m here. peer into the sky. why?is it so high?lie on the ground. pounding starts once more. soar into the night. flight might make things alright. fly! on a quest! west, and north and south and east. feasting on the sights. night. stars appear. drifting near to them. at peace.
but what goes up must come down. frown.
eternity deserted
water in hand
through world of sand
searching seeking
all is leaking
through her grasp
grip
drop
drip
hold on tighter
knuckles whiter
flight or fight her
heart. beat.
beat
beat blue and black
black. heart
attack
siege within
hid by skin
to win
is losing
death is gain. slain
either way.
body cast on oceanless shore
destroyed by war,
she is no more
hollow shell – a living hell – the well
she sought is now her home
a constant roam – a darkened maze
pervasive haze for daze and days of
weightless fall.
call
out.
and
up.
no reply.
sky long gone.
no heat. no light.
no end in sight.
Old Journal Page (with additions)
you know when you find something you wrote a long time ago and it still resonates with you? and helps you to remember that there is indeed a connection between the person you were then and then one you are now?
you know when you drive to and from somewhere in total silence, even though your whole family is in the car?
you know when you just can’t think of the right words to describe how you’re feeling? and you are aching to share with someone who will understand…and you feel a pressure coming from inside that threatens to explode…but there just isn’t anything you can do about it?
you know when someone corrects you and then you just don’t feel like talking anymore?
you know when your eyes are tired and your brain is cloudy and all you want to do is sleep but you can’t because you have too much to do? or when you desperately want to sleep but instead are plagued with insomnia and you find yourself staring into the blackness listening to the person next you breathe, wishing you could rest that easily at the end of the day?
you know that feeling when you’re about to cry and your eyes kind of sting and your throat gets a strange tightness? when you realize that you are experiencing a feeling you’ve read about so many times but never really paid attention to until just this moment? when another person puts words to the exact sensation you are feeling?
you know when you read a book that defines your life and it makes you feel more lonely and less lonely at the same time?
you know that breath that calms you, keeping you from making an enormous mistake?
you know in that moment of shock and panic where you can suddenly feel the adrenaline in your veins and your heart sucks into itself, tightening, and then EXPLODES and you are sure that if you had been looking at your chest it would have been visible from the exterior and that if your heart hadn’t been connected to your insides by all those veins it definitely would have jumped right out of your throat and landed on the floor with a splat?
you know when you start to think in questions or with a certain degree of repetition and then cannot stop no matter how hard you try which furthers your conviction that you have an addictive personality?
you know that moment of perfection when you are laying in the grass on a hillside with a breeze around you and kids laughing in the distance and watching the clouds pass above and the leaves lazily drift from the trees and time stands still and you wish you could bottle that feeling and keep it forever?
abstract relations vi 
